I hate all girls vehemently.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
