I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
did i walk over a car last night?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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