Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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