I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize