I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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