girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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