he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
