Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
