To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize