She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
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