So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
