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• (775): View more from Nevada

  What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?

  (1-775): View more from Nevada

  A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood

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• (623): View more from Arizona

  I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.

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• (725): View more from

  well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success

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• (801): View more from Utah

  That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.

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• (530): View more from California

  There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b

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• (727): View more from Florida

  My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Threesome!

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