a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
