I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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