doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
