I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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