Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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