umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I looked at my own cervix.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize