Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
