My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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