He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
