no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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