why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
