All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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