is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
