My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Randomize
