You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
