Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
So. Much. Porn.
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