I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize