whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
