Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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