Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
