hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
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