Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
