i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize