I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
