i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I AM VODKA MAN
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
