Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize