i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Randomize