I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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