the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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