Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
