omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
