He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Watching her eat just hurts me
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
