hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
