??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize