found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
