I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
