hell yes lets make some ravioli
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
