Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Farmville is her only friend.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
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