it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
