She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
