Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
