if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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