at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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