Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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