i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize