my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
