Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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