I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'm like, not good at living.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize