Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
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