youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
