I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
she pinky promised me she was 18
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
