no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
