If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
